As I contemplated the writing of this book, I realized I was going through a time of great creativity, longing and yearning to express, to communicate, for I had grown beyond the suffering, pain and anguish of alienation.  I was searching for my self through the lives of my ancestors.  And through this quest, I came to know not only myself but also the commonality that runs through all traditions – American and Iranian - the concept of fairness and justice.

Having found the courage to tell my story, I discovered a treasure trove of a thousand letters, articles and newspaper clippings my mother, Mary Laleh Bakhtiar, had saved through the years.  The letters had helped her write two books on her mother and father: Helen of Tus: Her Odyssey from Idaho to Iran and Abol-Ghassem of Tus: The Epic Journey of Abol Ghassem Bakhtiar, M.D. (go to http://www.bakhtiar.org to learn more)

My book would not have been possible in this form without my mother’s extraordinary dedication and work in every stage of the manuscript. A noted Islamic scholar and author of numerous books on Sufism and Islam, on my journey of self-discovery, we went from letter to letter and story to story to decipher the past.  The letters were written by my great grandparents, my grandparents, mother and father.  Every letter served as a window into the narrative our family’s history in Iran and America. 

Armed with the heritage of unceasing love for knowledge, aspiring to become a fair and just person and infused with creative energy, my mother prepared me to ride on my own mythical steed much as the great hero of the Shahnameh, Iran’s national epic, and to journey to my past.  Like the hero, Rostam, who mounted his horse Rakhsh, I would go in peace, stage by stage, until I reached the realms of selfhood.

It was as if I had become a woman warrior ready to do battle with my inner self. I was reminded of the great female Persian warrior of the Shahnameh, Gordafarid. She was able to move out of the role culture had cast for her, take the divine mandate (farr) – right to rule over herself – and rise to a level equal to men, on their own turf and in their own terms.  I knew, based on my life experiences, that I had to rise above cultural norms in order to find myself. For the gift of self-awarness and for her temperance and patience I will forever be indebted to my mother.  I love you Mom.